I’ve just been to a site that has a poll asking its readers if they had more sex in 2010 than in 2009. I took the poll and answered yes. It occurred to me that my greatest accomplishment in 2010 could very well be that I got more sex in 2010 than in 2009. Actually, I got more sex in 2010 than in the last 5 years prior to that. But nah. Sex wasn’t the highlight of my journey, though it was a great part of the journey. My single most important accomplishment in 2010 was my growth from love and in love.
In 2009, I got my foot in love’s door. In 2010, I got love to bring me to the living room while it was cooking my favorite dish in the kitchen, serve me a sumptuous meal in its cozy dining room, tuck me in bed at night, and read me a story about a happy place, in a sweet, mellifluous voice, until I fell asleep. Oh, it also took care of me and brought me flowers when I was sick! Now, isn’t it quite an accomplishment to make love do that? (And isn’t my analogy quite cheesy? But sing with me, sistahs. Don’t rain on my parade now! You, too, brothas.)
2010 was definitely a year of love for me. It brought major changes into my life, and almost all of those changes were products of love. No, it wasn’t a perfect year. Not all my dreams came true, and not all days were happy. Nor were all lessons learned welcome. But the journey that was 2010 was a wondrous journey all the same, one that I look back on with a smile on my face.
From the time my husband and I met in 2009 up to the present, we have been maintaining a long distance relationship. That, in itself, is quite an accomplishment. Relationships, as most of us in relationships can attest to, require a lot of commitment, understanding, and patience to begin with. Put thousands of miles for long periods of time between the two people in it, and what you’ve got is a difficult, albeit not impossible, situation.
Allow me to review the year that was…
In January, we moved into a condo near where I work. From then until August, for 3 weeks, 1 month, and 2 months at a time, we learned to co-exist under one roof. My husband used to work for a company that allowed him to work remotely, so he came back here every 3 weeks or so. He left that company in the beginning of June and vacationed in Manila for more than 2 months. Now, understand that we are two headstrong, fiery people who don’t take crap from anyone. We learned, bit by tiny bit, to adjust; to know when to compromise and to yield. Amidst the laughter and joy of finally finding each other, we cried, pouted, and even yelled. Then, we learned that those actions were detrimental to the relationship, so now we’re trying hard not to resort to pettiness anymore, and succeeding most of the time. (Yay us!)
From August until the first week of December, after he returned to the US from his two-month vacation here, he and I had to endure life without each other physically, only keeping in touch through daily phone calls, Google Talk, SMS, and email. That called for a lot of patience. I knew I had to have a change of attitude ASAP, or I wouldn’t last and probably just go crazy from loneliness. So I set aside my tears and my fears. Hand in hand, over distance and over time, my baby and I marched on and vowed to weather the storm until the day we are finally hand in hand for real, never to be separated by the Pacific ocean again.
On a sunny and peaceful day in December, my baby and I got married. It was a simple wedding, in front of a judge, the judge’s son, my mom, and some staff from city hall. There were no frills and thrills, no walking down the aisle. We’ve been committed to each other from day 1, so it isn’t like marriage suddenly told us that this relationship is for a lifetime. The day we met, I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, and I knew he felt the magic, too, even on that first day of our journey. What marriage did was to tell the world what we have always known in our hearts.
In between those events, we also traveled to different places in the Philippines (mostly beaches), experienced major disappointments, kissed, made love, laughed, cried from happiness, cried from sadness and frustration, fought, and then kissed and made love again. Throughout all those different experiences, we’ve always known one thing: we are very much in love. And I hope that will never change.
I also started writing poetry again in 2010. I’ve always written poetry, but I drifted off towards the end of 2008 and in 2009. Again, it was love that put me back in poetry’s path, although indirectly.
What’s Gwyneth Paltrow‘s song? She sings she’s country strong? Well, I’m love strong. And 2010 was all about making me that.
Next, my husband and I will continue the process of getting me to his side of the ocean. That’s the first and primary goal for 2011, so it will be a more banging year for us, for our love, and for love in general (just because love working out for a couple gives love a very good name, y’all)!
That’s not to say 2010 wasn’t a banging year in other aspects. It definitely was a banging year for my sex life, too! (Yep, pun intended.)